Gargoyles are a fun addition to a porch or patio, unless you’re one neighbor who’s been dubbed a “Karen” after complaining about a woman’s outdoor decorations.
The “Karen” in question is said to have left a note for her neighbor complaining that her gargoyle wasn’t very festive and strongly suggesting that she put away the stone monster. But the neighbor responded perfectly.
“So one of my neighbors left me a note informing me that my gargoyle statue is “not appropriate” and “not in keeping with the Christmas spirit.” They firmly suggested that I “rectify the situation immediately.” Well problem solved! Frank is now festive! I’m pretty sure that this is not what they had in mind and I look forward to the future note stating as much, but 1. Frank is very heavy and he doesn’t get moved and 2. I like him even if he’s not so great at warding off evil Karens.“
With the gargoyle (named “Frank”) now looking a bit more festive, surely the Karen would’ve been happy, right? Well, wrong.
“Got a new note wanting to know if I think I’m funny. Why yes, yes I do. I decided to add an elf on the shelf and leave a note back that the elf is always watching. I may add one item a day now like an advent calendar. Too bad my porch is so small, I could really deck it out.“
Day by day, the scene continued to grow.
“Today we added a snowman. No new notes yet, but the one I left was crumpled up and in my flower bed so “Karen” knows it’s on.”
Okay, this one is by special request. I don’t wade into the “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie debate, but I imagine “Karen” is not of the mind that it is. Therefore it seems most appropriate to include Bruce Willis in my display. Yippee ki-yay and Merry Christmas! No new notes as of yet, but I will keep you updated.“
“I tried to convince one of the cats to sit outside in a costume as part of my display, kind of like one of those living nativity displays. They all declined. So festive skeleton cat it is!“
“Karen” soon escalated the battle, and the neighbor was prepared to fight to the bitter end.
“Got another note on my door when I arrived home from work today. Karen informed me that I’m being “beyond childish” and “my behavior is ridiculous.” She also called me out for “celebrating death” which I assume means she does not like my festive cat skeleton and said that it is “unbelievable that I would mock the homeless in such a manner.” I’m assuming she’s talking about the Die Hard picture and doesn’t know that’s Bruce Willis, but I’m not fluent in crazy so who knows. She complained about my inflatable Christmas Fiona in the front yard, which is just RUDE! Who doesn’t love Fiona? Oh, and she threatened to report me to the HOA again. Anyway, I’m going to leave this picture taped to the front door in place of the note tomorrow in addition to the next piece in what I’m referring to as “the best damn festive display in the land.” Stay tuned.“
“Well if she didn’t like the cat, she’s definitely not going to like the dog. I think he’s hella festive though. He’s also noise activated and has fresh batteries. Next time she leaves a note she’s in for a surprise. I made sure to put a collar and tags on him. I don’t want Karen reporting me to the county for having an unlicensed dog! This display is going to take over my entire porch.“
“I had an early morning dentist appointment and needed to go to the grocery, so it was dark when I put out today’s addition. Karen had already been here by the time I got home. Originally I just had the hippos out, but she left me a note saying “HIPPOS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!” Written just like that in all caps and a full ten exclamation points. (I kinda feel like I’m talking to my dad now. He used to text me in all caps.) I personally found this statement false and offensive. Who doesn’t want a hippopotamus for Christmas?? Okay, maybe it’s just me. Anyway, I put the sign up so she’d know how incorrect she is.“
“With all these notes I’ve been getting, it made me think about someone else who liked to write demanding notes—namely the Phantom of the Opera. I guess that makes me Monsieur Firmin now. Anyway, I thought Karen needed a place to put her notes so she wouldn’t waste so much tape putting them on my front door, so I made her a note box complete with a Phantom and lyrics from the musical. You may have also noticed the large wreath that was added today. I know what you’re thinking—that’s boring and I’m losing my touch. Fear not, that is no ordinary wreath. It is a magical portal to the Land that of Alternate Christmas. You never know what might start popping out of it.No new notes from Karen today, but I did get a package delivered from FedEx and the driver left a note on the box that my display was the funniest thing he’s seen all year.”
“We have a note!!! And she put it in the trash can!! Today, Karen wanted me to know that 1. I’m stupid and immature, 2. If I keep it up, I’ll be sorry, 3. She’s friends with the mayor, and 4. Her name is NOT Karen!—–ROFLMAO!!!”
The Karen complaints keep coming, but this festive neighbor is happy to simply continue growing her display. After all, isn’t the Christmas spirit all about coming together?
The more, the merrier! Hopefully this Grinchy “Karen” will soon embrace the fact that everyone (yes, even gargoyles!) can enjoy the Christmas season.
All images via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle/ Facebook